1000 Words On: Living From the Inside Out
When we find our way to ourselves, our life becomes a reflection and an expression of who we truly are. Our choices reflect our feelings as well as what we value, and what we want to offer. When we express ourselves, we actively participate in life itself, adding our unique version of humanness to the collaboration of humanity.
Douglas Holwerda
“The true profession of a man (or woman) is to find his way to himself (or herself).” Hermann Hesse
As a psychotherapist, I have been a witness to the mechanisms and patterns of thought common to how, we humans, learn to function. Emotions, such an important part of who we are, can go unnoticed or unregulated, leaving us without the information we need to respond to the world around us. Thoughts can fall into patterns when attached to beliefs that were shaped before we could discern what was true. Our bodies can be neglected, stressed or the source of unnecessary shame. When we see the ways these aspects of ourselves interface, the ways they affect each other, we realize there is a lot to know about who we are and how we function. Our inner life becomes the place to find the source of who we are.
Living From the Inside Out is a guide book that tells us how to increase our self-awareness as we live life. Often, the reason we do not want to look inward, to spend the time with ourselves, is because there is a lot of pain hidden there. We are afraid of what we might discover or feel if we take the time to look inward, so we keep ourselves distracted and outwardly focused. Avoidance works. We might become interested in what others think of us and work hard to shape their opinions by the images we create of ourselves or the performances we generate to win approval. We can allow ourselves to be stimulated by the world around us because it is easy to look into social media or to fill our time with the obligations that come from work or school. We find ourselves too distracted to look inward.
Being outwardly focused is a sign of our times. Though most of history humans lived at the pace of nature. Now there is much that is changing fast. We streamline our behavior to keep up with the fast-paced expected of us by others, normalized by the ways we organize our time. If we do recognize what we feel or question where our thoughts are leading us, it might only be a glimpse of our inner life. Rarely, do we seek the solitude that it takes to allow the deeper truths of who we are come to the surface. Rarely, do we reflect on our past as a way of making sense of who we are. Rarely, do we understand the impact of our parents or our culture on the person we have become. We tend to live more like sheep, going along with the herd without questioning where our life is leading us.
“Begin Within” is the first part of Living From the Inside Out. This book guides us to look inward by anticipating what we might come to learn. It shares examples from the lives of those who have benefitted from the journey inward in therapy. This book normalizes the messy truth that is so common to the human experience. It helps us not to judge ourselves for the what we do not know and are still learning in life. It reduces the stigma that comes from those who would rather avoid our inner truths than to see the challenges that come from the human experiences.
Living From the Inside Out speaks to the potential in all of us to become who we are meant to be. Rather than being in opposition to the expectations of others we see that our wellbeing is a way of furthering the course of humanity toward a collective understanding of our wholeness and oneness. To free ourselves from inner limitations that inhibit our choices is both a personal and a collective pursuit. When each of us chooses to prioritize our own well-being, it is not at the expense of others, but rather, bringing us closer to an integrated collective consciousness.
Our life’s work, to come to know ourselves, brings with it self-acceptance and the acceptance of life as it is. When we find the peace of mind to know we are Okay as we are, as imperfect as we are, we become co-creators of the life experience. We learn to flow, living in harmony rather than seeking power over others or applying too much of our own will. We become empowered and desire to empower others as well.
When we find our way to ourselves, our life becomes a reflection and an expression of who we truly are. Our choices reflect our feelings as well as what we value, and what we want to offer. When we express ourselves, we actively participate in life itself, adding our unique version of humanness to the collaboration of humanity.
The book I have written, Living From the Inside Out, is an invitation to turn inward for the purpose of finding about more of what our inner life is telling ourselves. It is remarkable that many of us live a life that is outwardly focused, responsive to the world around us, so much so that we neglect knowing the person that we truly are. Many of us function without knowing the influences that shape our behavior. We have thoughts and emotions that determine our actions, but do not understand where the thoughts and emotions come from or whether they are in our best interest. We have deep core beliefs, which influence how we treat ourselves, what we expect from others, and which inhibit and limit what we say or do. Most of us judge ourselves, produce negative self-talk, based on ideas that may not even be true. We may not realize that the beliefs we have come from messages we received in childhood. Our low self-esteem and low sense of self-worth are part of how we navigate social situations and have significant influence on the life we create for ourselves. We live below the potential of what we are meant to be.
